Should I Be Worried?

Received this via mail at work today:

Dear Employee,

Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown of
economy, Management has decided to implement a scheme to put workers of
40 years of age  and above on early retirement. This scheme will be
known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early).

Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to management to be eligible for
the SHAFT scheme (Special Help After Forced Termination). Persons who
have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW programme
(Scheme Covering Retired Early Workers). A person may be RAPED once,
SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as Management deems appropriate.

Only persons who have been RAPED can get AIDS (Additional Income for
Dependants & Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel
Early Severance).

Consequently persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or
SCREWED any further by Management.

Persons who are not RAPED and are staying on will receive as much SHIT
(Special High Intensity Training) as possible. Management has always
prided itself on the amount of SHIT it gives employees. Should you feel
that you do not receive enough SHIT, please bring this to the attention
of your Supervisor. They have been trained to give you all the SHIT you
can handle.

Sincerely,

The Management

Should I be worried?