Advent is a lovely period.

Friends pop by and visit you. And if you’re really well-liked, they sometimes even bring a gift or two.

Which is exactly what our crazy Italian pals did today:

Carefully check out the pic and you will notice:

• 4 live lobsters
• 3 live crabs
• 2 kilos of Venus Mussles
• 2 kilos of fresh tuna
• 4 fresh daurades (a.k.a. bream)

Totally nuts, I tell you. And that’s only when the fun actually started: I mean, what do you do late on a Wednesday evening with 4 live lobsters? Stick them into the freezer? They’re alive, remember.. Cook and eat them? It’s already past 20:30..

Pre-cook and eat them the day after? RIGHT!

So how do you humanely kill a lobster before cooking it? WRONG.. There is no other way than the one you all know about:

1. Boil water
2. Stick in lobster head-first
3. Throw-up over the balcony.

So I sat there as the water was starting to boil, talking to the things:

If you’ve never plunged a living being into a pot of scalding liquid before, believe me: it’s not worth trying out. I did it 7 times in a row and it took me the rest of the evening to recover.

We devoured the vongoles and treated ourselves to some tuna tartar. But I couldn’t help thinking about the murderous acts I’d just committed.

And no: I can’t tell you if they scream when they die. I held my hands over my ears to be spared their (eventual) agony..

We actually made it to Bodrum!

The ferry was waiting at 09:30 and, after having proceeded through customs, we were off on the bright blue sea for a 45 minute crossing.

Having arrived in at our destination we were wisked off onto a “sight-seeing” tour (included in the price of our ticket) which included:

• 15 minutes to look at the remains of some ancient windmills.
• 15 minutes to check-out the remains of the city’s gates
• a drive past an amphitheater
• and the highlight of the venue: 45 minutes at a jewlery wholesaler where you could get gold at “unbeatable” prices.

Needless to say: we spent that time looking for a pharmacy that would sell us some pain killers which would sooth Vic’s “that-time-of-the-month” belly.

Luckily we were soon back amongst shops selling genuine Lacoste t-shirts (@ €100 a piece) next to the competition offering “nearly” the same stuff for €20 for 5 (end-of-season prices, you know..).

A definite highlight of the day was the experience of a REAL Kebab at one of the local’s places (in case you don’t know, the Kebab as we Europeans know it was invented in 1971 in Berlin…). It was quite a challenge to choose the one we wanted from the “foreigners-only” menu that had been brought out of hibernation in our honour. But “Adana-Kebab” seemed to ring a bell so that’s what we ordered.

Oh, BTW: “Adana” turns out to be the chili version. Our sinuses showed their gratitude for the rest of the afternoon..

I had had visions of arriving back to the ferry, only to be told that our 50%-tickets were only valid one-way. But we were let back onto our vessel without the slightest fuss and duely shipped back to our island of departure.

Fun day, but I was seriously looking forward to our last day spent horizontally!

My ham sandwiches are, indeed, legendary.

During the first 18 months of my professional career when, as a 100% Genevois, I had had the honour to relocate to Zürich and become a “Marketing Assistant” (i.e “gopher“) for an American Biotech company, I used to religiously prepare my midday feast every Monday evening for the rest of the week.

This included:

• 1 baguette (french loaf)
• Fresh salad
• Tomatoes
• Butter
• Mayonnaise

Sounds pretty standard, eh? Every Monday I used to prepare enough for the rest of the week and stick them into my freezer. Then, every morning, I would take one of them with me, leave it on my office bookshelf to defrost (which it finally did at approx. 15:30 every day) and devour it with relish.

Since I was luckily enough to find an alternative source for my nourishment within a year and a half (and ended up marrying it to ensure that I would never have to suck frosen ham, salad and tomato sandwiches again), I never looked back at my culinary creations until my very own kids were around 10 years-old and, episodically, required my kitchen skills.

So when Sarah rung me yesterday evening – while I was on my way home – and informed me (as the last minute as usual) that she would be going on a school outing the next day and required nourishment, I knew the answer…

Up at 06:00 I was, baking baguettes and chopping tomatoes before sending a very happy sailor off onto her trip.

The outcome? A couple of local kids who will call me next time they’re on the road.

I told you: I can’t “cook” much, but when I do…. Simply legendary!

Posted nearly a year ago:

When we purchased our house two years ago, it came with a beautiful fig tree bearing one solitary fig.

Last year it sprouted a couple more (apparently fig trees are very sociable plants which enjoy seeing a human every now and then), but, due to climatical considerations, we didn’t really expect it to offer more than a decorative addition to our garden.

Maybe we gave up too prematurely, though: this is what we found today..

Yeaah! Only three more and everyone will get a taste!

Finally, only two more actually made it, so Pina and I waited until the kids were in bed, sneaked out into the dark night and literally gorged ourselves in hidden silence (sorry girls!).

We will never know if they found out about our escapade, but I suspect foul play as, this year, our tree is behaving as if it was on steroids:

Two of 30+ fruit

We are so overwhelmed with figs that we are seriously considering holding a “Fig Party” for the entire neighbourhood (minus our ghastly neighbours of course).

I wouldn’t quite compare them to the one’s Pina brought back from her South Italian saga a month ago: ripe they look, but rather more an “acquired taste” than an “oozing sugar” one.

But if I may exceptionally quote the Bible (this will be the only time, promised!): “each man under his own vine and fig tree” (1 Kings 4:25) has been used to denote peace and prosperity.

We’re pretty peaceful at the moment; so I guess the rest is just around the corner..

Nearly forgot to tell you about our adventures in Zürich last Saturday.

After having dropped off the girls at the coach station (where they left for a week-long hip-hop workshop in Jesolo), we decided to go buy some fresh tuna in order to make a tartar that evening.

The stuff in Migros City (although on offer) didn’t look very appetizing so we ended up in the food section of one of Zürich’s up-market department stores: Jelmoli.

And low-and-behold: they also had a special offer. CHF 69.00/kg instead of CHF 89.00 (CHF 69.00 being the price the Migros usually sells Tuna for..).

After having ordered 300 gr, Pina asked the bloke at the counter if it was “sushi-quality”. “Oh yes”, he replied handing over the goods.

She then noticed that he had charged her the usual CHF 89.00/kg. And that’s when the fun started:

Pina: “Sorry, but I believe you made a mistake. The Tuna is on offer..”
Bloke: “Oh, but that’s “sushi quality”.”
Pina: “So?”
Bloke: “That one is not on offer.”
Pina: “So only the stuff which is not fresh in cheaper?”
Bloke: “No, no: they’re both fresh.”
Pina: “So why do I have to pay the regular price, then? The receipt mentions exactly the same Tuna which is on offer.”
Bloke: “Because it’s..”

10 minutes later we were up at Customer Relations who were very sympathetic and promised to send the Food Department’s deputy manager round to listen to our griefs.

Off we went, back to the fish section where we were welcomed by an exceedingly flustered women who first attempted to relieve us of our purchase (“If you really don’t want it, then we’ll reimburse you”) before proceeding to explain us the same “sushi-quality” story. Upon our insistence to shed light onto Jelmoli’s bizarre price structure , she finally shrug her shoulders, uttered a brilliant “Sorry, but I’m incompetent, you’ll have to take it up with my manager; and she’s only back on Monday” and stood there with a gleam in her eye.

Pina: “Oh well, back to Customer Relations, I guess..”
Incompetent manager: “Oh THAT won’t do you any good.”
Pina: “We’ll see, won’t we?”

At that moment an extremely energetic woman in a white overall popped up from behind the fish counter and marched towards us:

Energetic woman: “Excuse me: you want to benefit from the special price for your tuna, don’t you”?
Us: “Ah, yes”.
Energetic woman: “Do you like Mousse au Chocolat?”
Us: “Ah, yes”.
Energetic woman: “Good: here are two portions to make up for the inconvenience. And I’ve repriced your purchase. Sorry about that!”

By then, Ms. incompetent manager had disappeared. Which was a pity, as we still had a couple of questions to ask her…

The tartar was delicious!

As mentioned in my previous post, the reason for our recent diet can be found in the fact that Pina caught an intestinal blug within a couple of hours of arriving at her parents in deepest Italy.

And naturally she spent the rest of her week down there in an entremely uncomfortable condition which, coupled with an average of 46 degrees centigrade during the day and 34 during the night, turned out to be the kind of holidays you wouldn’t even wish on your worst enemy.

After 48 hours of seeing her rapidly dehydrate added to the fact that the medecine she had been prescribed was totally ineffective (maybe due to the fact that, until that moment, no doctor had seen her and her dad had simply popped round to the local hospital to pick up a remedy or two), her sister contacted the TCS, (one of Switzerland’s automobile association’s) in order to get her shipped back home asap.

In turn, they passed her case onto the REGA (the Swis air-ambulance service) who coordinated the situation from then on. And did so in the most brilliant of ways!

1. Got in touch with the above-mentioned hospital to discuss her case
2. Organized a doctor to pass by, check her out and prescribe appropriate medication.
3. Made sure that a nurse went by an a daily basis to stick some liters of Ringer’s Lactate into her (by then her kidneys were already rebelling from the lack of liquid).

And although she already had a flight back booked on Wednesday (via Rome) they did everything possible to find a direct connection. As the earliest possibility would have been on the following Sunday, she passed.

The cherry on the cake was provided an hour after she had successfully reached home last Wednesday when the TCS rung us to ask if she had made it in one piece.

Totally brilliant! And that for CHF 93.00 per year.

So: guess who instisted on catching up on all the local food she had missed once she felt better again… Naturally, as we are a very close family, we immediately supported her project and assisted her in every possible way!