Don’t know about you, but the taste for regularly wastingspending Saturday mornings shopping for food is something I have never quite managed to acquire.

Especially the grazing: the seemingly endless trundle through artificial pastures full of fruit and bits of dead animals, the inspection of each individual item followed, respectively, by a frown or approval.

I suspect my primary instinct is playing havoc: somehow I can’t imagine that Neanderthal-Brighty ever browsed through a herd of mammoths, inspecting its member’s rumps for potential juiciness.

Luckily I am not alone in my misery:

Tempting, I tell you! Bloody tempting…..

To my sweetheart, at the occasion of her “32nd”!

What Does Success Mean?

• At the age of 3 it means not shitting in your pants.
• At the age of 12 it means having friends.
• At the age of 18 it means having a drivers license.
• At the age of 20 it means having sex.
• At the age of 35 it means having money.

and…

• At the age of 50 it means having money.
• At the age of 60 it means having sex.
• At the age of 70 it means having a drivers license.
• At the age of 75 it means having friends.
• At the age of 80 it means not shitting in your pants.

Errrm: can you spare me some change?

(Provided you read one each day.)

1. Accept that some days you’re the pigeon, and some days you’re the statue.
2. Needing a man is like needing a parachute. If he isn’t there the first time you need him, chances are you won’t be needing him again.
3. I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow isn’t looking good either.
4. Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, “Where the heck is the ceiling?!”
5. My Reality Check bounced.
6. He who has, so shall he who. – Old Norwegian Proverb
7. Someday we’ll look back on all this and plow into a parked car.
8. There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved through a suitable application of high explosives.
9. Good news is just life’s way of keeping you off balance.
10. Carelessly planned projects take three times longer to complete than expected. Carefully planned projects take four times longer to complete than expected, mostly because the planners expect their planning to reduce the time it takes.
11. God did not create the world in 7 days; he messed around for 6 days and then pulled an all-nighter.
12. Stupidity got us into this mess – why can’t it get us out?
13. Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly and for the same reason.
14. People will accept your ideas much more readily if you tell them that Benjamin Franklin said it first.
15. I don’t mind going nowhere as long as it’s an interesting path.
16. Indecision is the key to flexibility.
17. If it ain’t broke, fix it till it is.
18. I don’t get even, I get odder.
19. In just two days, tomorrow will be yesterday.
20. I considered atheism but there weren’t enough holidays.
21. I always wanted to be a procrastinator, never got around to it.
22. Dijon vu – the same mustard as before.
23. My inferiority complex is not as good as yours.
24. I am having an out of money experience.
25. I plan on living forever. So far, so good.
26. Not afraid of heights – afraid of widths.
27. Practice safe eating-always use condiments.
28. A day without sunshine is like night.
29. I have kleptomania, but when it gets bad, I take something for it.
30. If marriage were outlawed, only outlaws would have in-laws.