Ladies and Gentlemen, the Viiiiiiiiiiiic, in concert, liiiiiive from Zurzach:
I’ll admit: at our age, you’d do ANYTHING to spice up your sex life.
But when DBW told me to use the “Pussy” sheets when making our bed, I was expecting something different..
Yes: they are OUR bedsheets. There wouldn’t be two sets otherwise, would there?
I’ve been married for nearly 17 19 20 years now, but there is one situation I have NEVER quite managed to handle:
|Time:||5 minutes before leaving the house. Usually early morning|
|Content:||“Does my hair look ok?”|
Believe me: as much as I have tried, reaching into the bottomless depths of my superior intellect, I have yet to come up with the ideal answer.
I mean, if the question is asked, it must be for a reason; DBW rarely fishes for compliments.
The obvious replies (and their outcome) are:
|“Perfect! You look LOVELY!”||Tears: you’re telling her she always looks like that|
|“Nope”||Tears: you will always be an insensitive bastard|
|*Silence*||Rage: you NEVER listen to me|
|*Cunningly changes subject*||Frustration: she reverts to the original question|
|*Walkes away*||Suicidal: she grabs for the nearest scissors|
|*Clutches knee and complains
about old war wound*
|Perplexity: no further reaction|
You can guess my favorite, but I am seriously running out of body parts…
DBW: “Sarah, do you mind explaining why your bedroom always looks like a bomb has hit it?”
Sarah: “what do you expect? I’m a TEENAGER!!!!”
Bavarian men might want to rethink their annual Oktoberfest revels in light of a new studyâ€
â€œYou have to hope that this study is flawed, but the evidence seems irrefutable. Several months ago, scientists at Europeâ€™s annual human reproduction conference suggested that the results of a recent analysis revealed the presence of female hormones in beer, and suggested that men should take a look at their beer consumption. The theory is that drinking beer turns men into women.
To test the theory, 100 men were each fed six pints of beer within a one hour period. It was then observed that 100% of the men gained weight, talked excessively without making sense, became overly emotional, couldnâ€™t drive, failed to think rationally, argued over nothing, had to sit down while urinating, couldnâ€™t perform sexually, and refused to apologize when wrong.
No further testing is planned.