You can fly for free with Ryanair. No kidding! Had we flown from Monday to Monday, our flight would have cost nothing, nada, zilch!

Apart from:

• Airport Taxes: variable; € 19.00 in this case
• Luggage: € 20.00 for one item
• Airport Check-In: € 10.00 (yes: you HAVE to take the airport check-in option if you have luggage).
• Oh, and if you have the great idea to pay by credit card: € 5.00 per person and leg.

And there are those 15 “non-poolable” kilos per suitcase… That’s per person, mind you: it doesn’t matter that you are a family of four and have booked three suitcases. 2 X 14 Kg + 1 X 17 Kg = € 30.00 surcharge.

Simply book three suitcases for the same person, I hear you mutter.. AHAAH, gotcha: 3 X suitcases <> 3 X € 20.00. A person carrying 3 suitcases will be charged a whopping € 100.00 (which excludes future hospital costs to treat the subsequent hernia)! Mr O’Leary has got EVERYTHING worked out!

It’s manageable on the outbound flight, if you just happen to own one of those dreaded bathroom scales. But how many hotel’s amenities include a scale? How exactly are you then expected to spread 44.3 Kg of dirty washing over 3 suitcases? Glad they didn’t inspect our carry-on luggage too thoroughly..